The Wisdom Course: backed up by new research

In 2003 I took Landmark Education's Wisdom course. Over a nine month period we played with the basic premise of the course: that who we are is a network of conversations. In other words, it is what we say, what the people around us say, and what the people around them say which determines our experience of life. And if you want a new life, say new things.

I was profoundly impacted by the experience, and in 2006 I had the opportunity to act as a coach for the course in San Francisco.

I just read "Three Degrees of Contagion" in NewScientist magazine. It discusses some new research which reinforces this notion about how strongly we are influenced by our social networks:

Indeed, it is becoming clear that a whole range of phenomena are transmitted through networks of friends in ways that are not entirely understood: happiness and depression, obesity, drinking and smoking habits, ill-health, the inclination to turn out and vote in elections, a taste for certain music or food, a preference for online privacy, even the tendency to attempt or think about suicide. They ripple through networks "like pebbles thrown into a pond", says Nicholas Christakis, a medical sociologist at Harvard Medical School in Boston, who has pioneered much of the new work.

At first sight, the idea that we can catch the moods, habits and state of health not only of those around us, but also those we do not even know seems alarming. It implies that rather than being in charge of where we are going in life, we are little more than back-seat drivers, since most social influence operates at a subconscious level.

But we need not be alarmed, says Duncan Watts, a sociologist at Columbia University, New York. "Social influence is mostly a good thing. We should embrace the fact that we're inherently social creatures and that much of who we are and what we do is determined by forces that are outside the little circle we draw around ourselves." What's more, by being aware of the effects of social contagion we may be able to find ways to counter it, or use it to our own benefit. "There's no doubt people can have some control over their networks and that this in turn can affect their lives," says Christakis.

And not surprisingly, two of the recommendations listed in the article (#2 and #3) are very similar to what the Wisdom course offers to those who want to transform their lives:

Five tips for a healthier social network

1. Choose your friends carefully.

2. Choose which of your existing friends you spend the most time with. For example, hang out with people who are upbeat, or avoid couch potatoes.

3. Join a club whose members you would like to emulate (running, healthy cooking), and socialise with them.

4. If you are with people whose emotional state or behaviours you could do without, try to avoid the natural inclination to mimic their facial expressions and postures.

5. Be aware at all times of your susceptibility to social influence - and remember that being a social animal is mostly a good thing.

So who are you talking to today, and what are you talking about?