Then, again, now, and when

Hmm. Today is a strange nexus of my childhood, my young adult life, where I am now, and where I'm going.

I returned last night from a weekend in San Francisco and at the Russian River. So many memories of so many days and nights gone by. I was at the River from Saturday until Monday; Sundance was on Sunday. It was always one of my parties; there are few things I love more than dancing in the sun surrounded by good friends and beautiful men.

At one point early on on the dancefloor Sunday afternoon I was dancing within fifteen feet of my college boyfriend Lance, my first post-college bf James, my ex-husband and current wingman Tommy, and the two men I dated when I returned to SF from Portland, Anthony and Justin.

I was also surrounded by friends who I've danced with for over fifteen years, and the DJ, Phil B, told my friend April that he loved how we were all out together after all these years.

The mid-nineties: the best of times... one of those magical moments when you make a circle friends that last forever.

But there were new good times over the weekend as well, though reality sank in back in Vegas. Classes have started at UNLV: do I stay here for another semester, or do I move on to Portland where new opportunities are waiting? And when and how do I start cleaning up all of the messes I've made?

And childhood... how does that fit in? Driving home from UNLV, on a 100 degree day, planning a Friday happy hour with my friend Ricky, I was ready for a beer. I remembered being a kid and watching Dallas and noticing that when JR came home from Ewing Oil, he'd make himself a drink. And I thought, "When I'm grown up, that's what I'm going to do. Come home and mix myself a cocktail."

But while I love them, somehow a drink has never become part of my post-work routine.

(This Heineken sure is good right now, though! :-)